


What's the Difference Between a Pygmy Puff & Owl Pellets?

by Miraphina Atherton (mew_tsubaki)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Family, Gen, Humor, also Charliephina & Romione, bc Hedwig's alive, but only sort of, the charrie death tag is sort of a joke...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 16:23:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13617105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mew_tsubaki/pseuds/Miraphina%20Atherton
Summary: A bad day gets worse.





	What's the Difference Between a Pygmy Puff & Owl Pellets?

**Author's Note:**

> The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not to me. Normally, I can't stand canon, but I have a really good idea every now and then. ;D Read, review, and enjoy! Originally written for jojor99.

Ginny Weasley soon-to-be-Potter cracked the kinks out of her neck after having landed on the training pitch. Her Harpies coach was already shouting new ideas at the team, but Ginny shook her red hair free of its ponytail and waved at her nearest teammates, her fellow Chasers.

"Tell Coach I'm calling it an early day," she moaned. She was too lazy even to head to the showers. And why should she? With a quick spell or two, Ginny was dry, feeling fresh, and had changed into normal clothes. She waved goodbye to her teammates as their coach tried calling her back, but Ginny just jogged away and left out the exit.

A woman stood leaning against a blue auto parked right outside with her arms crossed in front of her chest. "Oi, Weasley! Are you really going to make me wait any longer?"

Ginny grinned and went for the passenger's side door, climbing into what her Muggle-born friend Miraphina called a "sedan." "Sorry about that," the Weasley witch apologized. "I forgot you were going to pick me up today, and then I remembered after about two grueling hours of practice."

Miraphina Atherton, a fellow witch and friend of Ginny's from Hogwarts, smiled and got in, turning on the vehicle and pulling away. "Glad to know I managed to get even a smidge of your time. I can't believe you, being so busy turning into MVP Rookie of the Year…"

"And you, working to make money in your mum's pastry shop so you can feel comfortable working out in Romania with my brother," Ginny retorted, one eyebrow raised.

"HA! Nothing about Charlie can ever make a witch completely comfortable…but, hey, that's the fun in it." Mira glanced from beneath her sepia fringe at her pal. "So, what? Am I just your chauffeur today? Is this all the time I get with my bestie?"

Ginny cringed. "If I said 'yes,' then you'll whip out your Cockney accent on me, won't you?"

"I can't 'elp it, 'specially when I think of Chalie…" Mira's cheeks pinked, and she glared at Ginny in the rearview mirror. "Lookit what you made me do…"

Ginny laughed. "It's fine, Mira… Actually, I was thinking that maybe we should have a little get-together tonight."

"Yeah?" Mira took a turn, and Ginny gazed out the window.

"Yeah… You, me, Harry, Charlie, Ron, Hermione… It's been a while…"

"Oh, Merlin—all three of them?" She winced as they slowed by a red light. "I still can't get over knowing such celebrities…such big war heroes…"

"And what am I? A Slytherin?"

"The Goddess of War…on the Quidditch pitch, of course."

* * *

Ginny was more than grateful for Miraphina's ride home. She wasn't sure she could've handled the flight home after being on her broom all day. Nor did she want to Apparate when she was this tired.

But she also kind of liked how Miraphina still lived like a Muggle, despite being a witch. Ginny knew Charlie thought it was peculiar, but he didn't hate it either. Though, Ginny doubted that an automobile would do very well anywhere near a dragon around to flambé it.

"Harry? Teddy? I'm home!" She stepped inside the house and looked around. It was fairly quiet, but she supposed that made sense. Teddy was probably at Andromeda's, and Harry probably had gone to work. Though Ginny didn't recall Harry having to work in the Auror Office today…

Speak of the devil, Harry emerged from the upstairs then and came down to greet his fiancée. He kissed her lips tenderly and smiled. "Hey, good workout today?"

"Brutal," she answered, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his chest. "Oh, Godric…this feels so nice after today."

Harry chuckled, a sound she felt rumbling in his chest. "That means we're getting takeaway tonight, huh?"

Ginny shook her head. "Actually, I was thinking you could cook."

"Oh?"

"Yeah…for all of us."

Harry loosened her grip on him to look at her. "Ginny, what do you mean, 'for all of us'?"

She grinned impishly. "Oh, you watched my mother all those years and helped when you could… You're a good cook…"

"Ginny."

"Oh, I just wanted the six of us to have an evening in—you and me, Ron and Hermione, Charlie and Mira."

"Ah," Harry said, a knowing look in his bottle-green eyes. "I get it. You've been stuck with your teammates for too long and need your friends." He brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. "That's fine, luv."

She sighed, happy that things were actually okay. Even after all this time after the war… The idea that things could be so calm was a wonder. But it was a wonder she enjoyed nevertheless. "Where's Teddy?"

Harry coughed and groaned. "Ah, yes…our resident Metamorphmagus…" He darted his eyes up the stairs. "I've been home today—I only brought some papers home with me since it was a slow day—but I picked Teddy up from Andromeda's, and we were playing catch on our broomsticks—"

"Oh, Harry, I _told_ you that he was too little for that thing—Ron can be such an idiot sometimes—"

"—and the brooms weren't a problem. But I took a minute to grab a snack, and he decided go out back and, er…make mud pies."

She blinked. "That's not that bad."

"Tell me that _after_ you've spent an hour scrubbing a little Metamorphmagus boy once he's changed the color of his hair to the color of the dirt. I had no idea what to scrub, the little bugger!"

"Harry."

He sighed. "I know, I know… Look, you get Teddy dressed so he can go back with Andromeda for the night, and I'll get started on supper. Deal?"

Ginny shook on it and dashed upstairs. She looked in the bathroom first and found it empty. Teddy also wasn't in his room. When Ginny reached her and Harry's large bedroom, she saw Teddy sitting on the bed edge, wrapped in a huge bath towel. His eyes were glued to Arnold's cage.

"Hey, Teddy, how are you, hon? You know you're not supposed to be in here…" She knelt down, and he looked at her, a big smile on his face.

"Aunt Gin!" he gasped. He hopped off the bed and dove into her open arms, snuggling into her chest. At five years old, Teddy was the most adorable thing Ginny had ever seen.

"I heard from Uncle Harry that you made a mess of yourself today," she said with a look.

Teddy grinned, reminding Ginny of Tonks whenever she had crashed into an umbrella stand. "But he made me unmessy, so it's okay."

Ginny laughed. "'Un-messy,' right. Say, why don't we put on our shirt and pants and trainers and go back to Grandma 'Meda's today?"

His grin widened.

"And underpants, Teddy," she quickly added, recalling a funny scene from last week.

He stuck out his tongue and pointed to Arnold. "What's that?"

"Arnold? You know Arnold, Teddy. I let you play with him sometimes."

"No, what _is_ he?"

Ginny nodded. "Ah, I get you. Arnold's a Pygmy Puff. My brothers came up with him. I got him when I was in my fifth year at Hogwarts." She eyed the purple ball of fluff and sighed nostalgically. It was hard to believe it had been so long since then.

Hedwig chirped, bored, in the far corner of the room, and Teddy laughed. "I want my own Heddig!"

"'Heddig'—yes, yes, one day, six years down the road, Teddy," Ginny said, shaking her head. "But, for now, you get clothes!"

* * *

It actually didn't make much sense trying to dress Teddy when all he wanted to do was go downstairs and help Harry cook supper. Ginny felt as though karma was getting back at her—she'd left practice early, so she now had to get another workout in, chasing around a little kid. Ginny felt exhausted when the doorbell rang.

Karma was still being catty. Ron and Hermione showed up first. "All these years, and you still tell me last," her brother griped.

Ginny gave him a look. "What are you on about, Ron?"

"I had to hear from Hermione who heard from Charlie who heard from Miraphina that we'd all get together tonight," he replied, hanging up his and Hermione's jackets. "What the bloody heck is that? Tag?"

"Communication," Hermione stated, smirking along with her sister-in-law.

Ginny put her hands on her hips. "Well, you guys are a bit early. Harry still needs another thirty, forty minutes before we're ready. You guys want anything to drink?" she asked as they went into the kitchen.

"Firewhiskey would be great," Ron said at the same time Hermione spluttered, "Butterbeer, please." They shared a glanced before rolling their eyes at one another.

They exchanged hellos with Harry and started talking about some old friends—Luna had recently taken up with Newt Scamander's great-grandson, and Hannah Abbott was last seen hanging around Neville—when the doorbell rang again.

This time Charlie and Miraphina entered, Charlie's hair a muss and Mira's face a little pink. Ginny eyed her friend up and down. "And, to think, I thought you'd missed _me_ this morning."

"Ah, I have no idea what you mean," the Hufflepuff woman said cheekily, fixing Charlie's collar out of what could only be called habit.

They stepped inside, and Charlie hugged his baby sister. "You think you could sign a few things for me, by the way? Some mates back home…"

"Charlie, seriously?" Ginny shook her head—Charlie and Ron really were brothers. "Maybe later."

"Hey, where's Teddy? He at Andromeda's today?" Mira asked as she looked around.

"Oh, no, he's in the kitchen with Harry." They went into the kitchen and grabbed more drinks…and Ginny took a good look at the room. "Wait a sec… Harry, where's Teddy?"

Harry locked eyes with her. "Dunno… Thought he might've gone to you."

"No, everyone was arriving…" Ginny's face dropped. Uh-oh. It was too quiet in this house. " _TEDDY_!"

The adults dispersed to cover more ground, leaving Harry to keep on tending the food. Charlie and Ron looked on the first floor, and the women went upstairs. Ginny, a funny feeling in her gut, opened her bedroom door…and saw Teddy, once again, sitting on the edge of her and Harry's bed.

"Oh, Teddy…" She sighed in relief and engulfed him in a tight hug. "Don't disappear like that again! We were worried."

"'S okay, Aunt Gin." Teddy smiled at her, his eyes shining brilliantly, all hues of the rainbow.

She chuckled, loving his eyes. "Why'd you come back here anyway? I told you you're not supposed to be in here."

"Uncle Harry was makin' food, so I thought Heddig was hungry, too!"

"What?" Ginny stared at him quizzically.

The others came to the doorway, Hermione and Mira sighing and Charlie and Ron rolling their eyes. "Sheesh, he sure can be quiet for a little troublemaker," Charlie commented, with Ron agreeing.

"Teddy, what do you mean that 'Heddig' was hungry?" Ginny asked, ignoring the others.

Teddy pointed to Hedwig, who was perched contently on her stand. "I thought she wanted a snack, too, so's I fed her."

Ginny blanched. "Fed her _what_ , Teddy?"

In response, Hedwig did something akin to an owl-y burp. A purplish "dust mite" popped out of her hiccupping beak.

Ron tried to control his sniggering, but Charlie's snort didn't help. "Hey, Charlie, what's the difference between a Pygmy Puff and owl pellets?"

"I dunno, Ron…"

"Nothing much, considering they're both named 'Arnold' now."

Ah… That night saw the Wizarding world's best-ever Bat-Bogey Hex…courtesy the Quidditch pitch's "Goddess of War."

**Author's Note:**

> B) Hilarious. Purely hilarious. Mira's my OC from my fic, At the Moment, where Charlie is also nummy… Anywho, I think I'll let the humor sink in. Poor Arnold the Pygmy Puff, though! *ROFL*
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please review!
> 
> -mew-tsubaki -w-
> 
> 2017 note: Still a cute fic. XD (Also, I love Charliephina~) But poor Arnold. Arnold the Pygmy Puff, 2011. May he rest in pieces…er, in peace. ;D (Also, AU for Hedwig, who shoulda lived. ;P)


End file.
